Andrew J. is Josiah's brother. In the 1860 census, doesn't it say that Mary J. is a seamstress? I wouldn't think she'd have an occupation if she was married.
I can't shed any light on your other mysteries. The Civil War pension record for another of Josiah's brothers, James, says that their mother Jane was entirely dependent on him and yet another brother, Columbus. I was unable to get Columbus' record.
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