Done some more work and found in the 1880 census for Banford, Newhaven, CT, Mary (aged 30) and Mary A aged 12, Margaret aged 8 and Catherine aged 6. This appears to be the family you mentioned. No mention of James.
Also in New Haven are Thomas and Mary aged 60 and their son James aged 28, all born Ireland. Is New Haven far from Banford?
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