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June 9, 2008
Mom grew up in Pontotoc Mississippi. According to the 1930 Census she was 1 7/12 year old. The family lived on Houston - Pontotoc Road. Mom never talked much about her childhood. Her half brother Wayne Souter however did in his 29 page leaflet this is what he says about the family.
" “ Mom met and married Cecil B. Beckham in 1926,1927. He became our second stepfather. He had a fourteen-year-old daughter by his first wife. (Deceased) He owned a three hundred and sixty-acre farm, with the school joining the farm. He had given this land to the county for the school. He and Mom had three children, two boys and a girl, the youngest died as an infant. The two remaining were Betty Jean and Cecil B “
“ Cecil Beckham was a hard working good man. He showed no partiality. We were “ the kids “. He insisted we get Frank from Grandma and all the kids be together and settled in on Dad Beckham’s farm. We all started to school and could see the school from our house. We all had chores to do before we went to school. My chore was to feed the livestock, horses, mules, and cows. Dad had several milk cows and sold the milk and cream to a cheese factory six miles away in Pontotoc, Mississippi. We kept it cool by lowering it a distance down in the hand-dug water well. “
“ I can remember a few things in my life before I was five years old. But mostly before that, Mom told them to me at a late date. We lived on this farm until after the 1929 - 1932 depression in which time Dad lost his farm. He could not pay the taxes on it, so in 1933 late fall, we moved to Crawfordsville, Arkansas. Dad started sharecropping for my Uncle Fred who was making his living and money bootlegging whiskey to Memphis. Dad had nothing to do with this part of Uncle Fred’s operations .Dad was kind of trapped as he had sold all of his livestock to keep eating and for the move to Arkansas. I was in the fifth grade, we did not go to school regularly as the farm crops gathering came first and we had to help. We were behind most of the time in our classes. “
“ Dad did not like Uncle Fred’s type of farming and operations, so in 1934 we moved to another sharecroppers farm about five miles away. All we had was a team of mules and a wagon. Dad worked the W. P. A. to get enough money to buy a milk cow. We had not had milk regularly for the past year. This purchase was to us kids the greatest in the world. We treated the cow like a baby. I did all the milking morning and night. Dad bought Frank and me rubber boots that winter. We did all the outside work and did lots of rabbit hunting. Sometimes we hunted with just a stick with a big bolt nut on it. We would jump a rabbit and everybody in the group would throw their stick at it and we usually got it, if it was out in the open where no bushes or cotton stalks stopped the sticks. We kept and ate every one we killed. “
“ We also went to the creeks after they dried up into holes. We waded in with hoe or brush limbs and muddied the water to a point the fish would stick their noses slightly out to breathe, then we would knock them out on the bank or flip them out with our hands. We ate these also. This was done late summer, August, September, while we waited for the cotton and corn to mature for harvesting. Around January 1936 we moved to Tennessee just out of the city limits of Memphis. Very close to the airport, in fact the north west corner of the Memphis Airport today is where our house sat, on the corner of Democrat Lane and Air Way Blvd. We farmed or share cropped 50 acres at that time. Nothing but cotton, corn, sorghum cane and a very big garden. Dad purchased another milk cow which made us very happy. “
“ We the kids started to school at the Oakville School Elaine being in the 9th grade, started to White Haven High School in 1937, late as usual. We kids needed to help harvest the crops, picking cotton being the main chore. It took 4 to 6 weeks to finish the harvest. “
“ My Step-Dad was not an educated man. He had gone through short term 5th grade. Mom had completed the short term 8th grade. School in those days was not pressed as it is today, People worked to survive, secure and store food to eat and for the animals to eat during the winter or off working time. Working to prosper never happened, People did a lot of barter working. If your neighbor needed help, you helped him and it turned around. If a man had a skill like carpentering, he would build you something. You in turn would do some kind of work to pay him back. Sometimes it took several jobs or a year to pay him. “
“ We were a happier family living at this location than we had been for several years. Mom and Dad were not happy living in Arkansas. “
“ In 1937 I ran away from home and went back to Pontotoc, Mississippi to my step- sister’s. I hitchhiked and was gone for approximately 2 weeks. My family was worried about me. They had no idea where I was. Telephone and overall communications was almost by word of mouth only. Mail was slow and no television, I was sorry I did this, as a manhunt by the whole farming area was organized to search creeks, ditches and woods to locate me. A very foolish thing for me to do.”
“ In 1940 behind in school and wanting to get out in the world, Frank, my brother had left home and was living with Uncle Herman Hall, my mother’s oldest brother. Working together at a service station and auto repair shop. Frank and I decided to join the Navy together. I told Dad about it, he thought it was a good idea and was all for it.”
“ Dad had about decided there had to be a better way to make a living. There was no future in farming on our bases or size operation, so he encouraged us to enlist. “
. “
I do know at some point the Beckhams including Mom moved into "the big house" right across from Collierville High School. I know Mom went to and graduated from Collierville High School. Mom and her mother, Birdie Pearl Hall Beckham worked at what was called the Toddle house or Dobbs House restaurant. Mom met dad at the restaurant. Im not sure how long they dated but on July 13, 1946 Mom married dad in Hernando, Desoto County, Mississippi.
Mom never commented about being with dad in the Army. There are pictures of Dad, Mom and Lee Jr. that we have in books. I know this was during dad's second term in the Army. I was born at Ft. Benning, Columbus Georgia. Dad's second tour of service in the Army lasted until 1950. As I said I was born in 1948. There is a picture of myself as a baby with mom holding me on the porch of the "big house" across from Collierville High School. The first house we lived in was on Cherokee Rd. in Memphis. It is somewhere close to Pine Hill School because Lee Jr. went to Pine Hill School in the first grade. I don't know the year but at some point mom was working at Hunter Fan. By 1953 we were living on Whitten Rd. , because Lee Jr. started the second grade at Bartlett and I started the first grade. The only job probably any of us kids can remember mom having was at General Electric on Riverside Drive in Memphis, Tennessee. She was a inspector of the light bulbs used in flash lights and other size bulbs. She retired after 20 years of service at General Electric.
When we moved on Domar mom met her next door neighbor Madie and they were friends until she died. Madie was her seamstress and made all of mom's long formal dresses and other things. Mom would buy the product for her dresses and Madie would turn it into what look like formal ware a hollywood star would wear. Moms legs had been giving her problem for a long time and she wore those heavy duty stockings that you had to be fitted for. I remember before she would get out of bed she worked at getting the stockings on and at night Dad would help her take them off. Some of the fun things mom liked to do was keep her house clean,bowl, camping, plant and work her garden, drive the boat pulling skiers behind the boat,her gardens, her flowers, doing ceramics and loved Christmas.. She loved her kids and grand kids but most of all she loved dad.
Mom wanted her house clean all the time because she never knew when some of her many friends would drop by to see her. Sometimes we cleaned the house 3 times a week. We always made our beds before we went to school. Mom taught all of us to iron our clothes. I remember we had a maid T Ethel because mom during her 20 years at GE worked all 3 shifts. Tethel did just about everything while we were kids.As I said mom taught us to iron and she would inspect the clothes to make sure they were correctly ironed.
Mom loved to bowl. Her team sponsored by GE would go everywhere for tournament. At dads funeral somebody said they remembered mom bowling a 300 one time. Her team mates were all GE workers. After Sherry started to work at GE she was on the team. Mom and Sherry would bowl as doubles in Tournaments.
I remember in our camping days mom used to get all the stuff ready for camping so dad and all of us kids could get the boat's we had through the years loaded by Thursday night. This would enable us to leave as soon as dad got home from working.Mom and dad would do the cooking. I also can remember mom after we got wherever we were going yelling out Ok who wants to ski get in the boat. Mom would stay out on the lake until everybody got tired of skiing.
I think mom had the patience of Job.
As long as I can remember mom and dad had some sort of garden especially on Misty Meadow in Wyndyke Estates. Cucumbers, corn, peppers at least 100 tomato plants. She and dad would do pickles put up corn, green beans, etc. When mom died there were tons of canned Pickels, canned tomatoes, pepper sauce, etc in the pantry which dad said for all of us to take some.
When mom and dad moved into their Wyndyke Estates home she joined the garden club. Mom had tons of plants inside and outside. She truly had a green thumb. She could tear off a piece of a plant and stick in in dirt and it would grow.
When mom and dad moved into their dream retirement home in Wyndyke estates she met Zelma Wise across the street from where they lived. They were very close friends. This was in 1978 but they moved to this location before that but I remember mom was doing ceramics. I presume Zelma got her into ceramics. it was therapy for mom I guess. Zelma at some point got a kiln to cook ceramics and instead of working at Carols Ceramic shop. But mom began at Carol's ceramic shop. The reason I remember this was 1978 is because I got hit by a car in Aug. 1978 and the only way I could go home from the hospital after 38 days was to go somewhere that someone could take care of me. I went to mom and dad's. Mom made sure I walked with my walker every dad, did the exercises the Dr. told me to do. Mom got me involved in Ceramics. One day she wanted a total place setting for 21 people and accessories (Tea Pot, Canisters etc. ) So mom and I did a 21 place setting of what we called "the mushroom dishes" by time she died she had the dishes and ALL its accessories.
Mom loved her kids to death and her Grand kids even more. Me being taken back into their household and helping me get back to whatever was going to be normal for me. She always kept the records ( bills, checking account, etc) She kept a 1,000 bucks in the checking account off the records to bail one of her sons out of jail when he got into trouble.
Any holiday that the whole family was together she would gather all the grand kids and try to hug all six of them at one time. Christmas as kids and adults was always special to mom. We got up Christmas mornings at 3 am to see what Santa brought us for Christmas. Buy time all the presents were opened and the trash was taken out it was 6 am time for breakfast. Mom and dad would fix a huge breakfast including dad's famous tomato gravy. This tradition was carried on until a few years after everybody moved out and married. When all of us go married it was a major problem for us with in laws. It was like we were eating at 6 am, noon Christmas dinners, and then 3 PM or 6 PM Christmas dinners all we had done was eat. Mom got together with most of the in laws and talked to them and told them they could have any holiday but she wanted all her kids to be at her house for noon Christmas dinner. So they all agreed to do this, thank God.
Somewhere between the 10th of Dec and the 15 of Dec 1983 I called mom from east TN to let her know I would be in for Christmas that some friends were going to Memphis on the 19th for wrestling at the coliseum. Well the 19th came around and it started snowing hard and heavy needless to say we were not going to Memphis.At around 11:30 am I called to tell mom I wouldn't be coming in that day. Sherry answered the phone and said there was an accident at the house and the ambulance crew was working on mom. Charlie got on the phone and told me he thought I should get home to Dad and mom's as quick as I could. I said ok. I hung up and called the bus station to find out when the next bus to Memphis would arrive and was told 4 PM. I then called back to dad's and mom's house and Zelma mom's best friend answered he phone and said hey had gone to St. Francis Hospital.
I called St. Francis emergency room and asked for someone in the Joyner family and was told they had all gone home. I told them I was a son of Betty Joyner and wanted to know how she was doing. A supervisor came on and told me mom had died.
The bus trip to Memphis (4hrs) was probably the worst time of my life I cried the whole time. I had made arrangements for Bill to pick me up on Summer Avenue at 9 PM. The rest is very personal to me so Im not going to go into this.
on December 21, 1983 we buried mom in Memory Gardens Hill of The Cross. It was icy and snowing making it difficult for everybody there were tons of wreaths at the grave. One thing I remember most about the trip to grave side was that people along the way pulled over to the side and people who were walking stopped and placed their hands over their hearts. (What happened to these days? )
On May 30, 2008 we buried my dad, Lee P. Joyner Sr. next to his wife of 37 years Betty Jean Beckham Joyner
There is a Country Western Song that says it all for me now
" Together Again"
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