Re: Frustration! Is there a way to convince elderly relatives to ..
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In reply to:
Frustration! Is there a way to convince elderly relatives to ..
Kristie Church 12/12/02
After 30+ years of research I can say, "They have skeltons in their closets" they don't want revealed.
Our generation does not have the values that they were instilled with.
It was almost a "crime" what in-laws & out-laws did back then.
However, now, we want to claim relation to "Elvis"& "Jesse James" etc;
My parents were seperated when I was 2 mo old, divorced when I was age 8.
When I stated my research, "No One" in either family wanted me to do this!
Was it their fear of being discovered?
To make a Long story short.
I found my Fathers name on a girls birth Certificate in another County.
Presto...I have a new 1/2 sister, at age 30.
Now it all falls into place....the reason for the seperation,divorce.the move to another county...it all comes to light now......I found out later all my family on both sides knew about her.
They lived with that secret for 30 years.
MY Grandmother was age 82 answered my question, that day.
In the 50's it was a disgrace...today we are friends...but who got the blame....she did, an innocent child who went thru life with my fathers name never knowing him.
How sad!
"The truth is best, never said" is an old saying.
You can get more information from old people by just being nice to them, (if she'll let you)
Start a conversation but never let on that you are interested in one subject.
Lead them to reveal a clue that you can work with.
Spend with them, you gain their confidence.
Don't share your finds. let her ask you something about your research
Let her ask you!
She has the upper hand & now is the time to swith your tatics.
And as far as reminding her of the loss your family will suffer when she is gone.
She knows this,(at her age)
Don't let her be your Brick Wall
Spend quality time with her.
Enjoy, Ann